I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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