Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
