She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's never too late to be topless.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
