need another drink. this is the easiest way
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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