office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I want her autograph on my taint
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
pray to the hookup gods
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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