So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it because I queefed?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
