you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
