Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
