I got chris browned last night
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I die, sorry about rent.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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