So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
