I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
