i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
