I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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