1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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