brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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