During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
