I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize