Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
