when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
