are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize