sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wear drunk well.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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