When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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