I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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