Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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