If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Can Purell be used as lube?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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