I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
