I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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