you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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