i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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