Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
