The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He better not be in your backpack
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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