Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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