cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize