i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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