How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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