We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
