So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
