it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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