i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
