so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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