Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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