i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
