i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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