You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
