3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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