i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
