Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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