let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
