woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's never too late to be topless.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize