By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
