Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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