After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize