is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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