ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
