sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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