i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
