And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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