would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
