Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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