how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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