My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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