Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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