I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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