your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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