Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
