My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
