she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
